Being a parent is never easy. We all want what’s best for our children, and sometimes, it is hard to know what that is. For millions of moms, we decide to be either stay at home or work from home moms. Both work at home and stay at home moms come with their own sets of challenges. However, those challenges can be met head-on and overcome. Unfortunately, there is no magic pill for eliminating the stress that comes with parenthood, but there are others of us out here, and we do understand. Let’s talk about a few of the chief complaints that moms have and how to make the best of them.
Being a Stay at Home Mom “it’s not easy ” :
Feeling Overwhelmed:
Whether you are a new mom or an experienced one, at some point, you will start to feel overwhelmed. Being a stay-at-home mom can be overwhelming, no matter if you have done it for five days or twelve years. There are many reasons that we get overwhelmed with being a mother. Sometimes those reasons are that we feel insecure about our performance as mothers, we are overworked, or our children are overextended.
Performance :
Mothers will not likely ever truly feel that they are doing a great job with their kids. The truth is that they are almost always doing fantastic jobs.
Mothers will look at other families on Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat and see perfect families with well-behaved children. Then, they take a look at their own families and see the two-year-old covered in jelly and feeding her sandwich to the dog, the five-year-old trying to paint while she eats her lunch, and the baby is screaming because he is too tired, but there is too much noise. Stop. The moment you are in is hard. There are too many things happening ad you are understandably frustrated.
However, those social media photos are misleading. I won’t say that they are fake, but as the Snapchat name suggests, these are brief moments in time. Often, they are filtered, and in some cases, they are professionally done. It is but one moment in time. You did not fail because your daughter wants to draw tattoos on the cat. Your son is merely trying to express his frustration when he screams for an hour, and you cannot figure it out.
Feeling Overworked :
In these moments, we are overworked. There is often no one there to back us up. It is essential to let your spouse know when you need a break. We will frequently try to internalize this stress because we know that our spouse works hard to take care of us and provide a home in which we can be a stay-at-home parent.
We must realize that our spouses are parents too. It’s fine to allow them a break when coming home, but if you need an hour to decompress, tell them. Holding in your frustrations leads to resentment. Most working parents want what’s best for their children, and this is why they work hard to provide a space for the other parent to be a stay-at-home parent.
An overstressed mother is not a good solution. If possible, call grandma from time to time to see if she can take the kids for an hour for you to go for a walk. Sometimes just a few minutes of rest, exercise, or quiet can be all that you need to recharge. Not everyone has grandparents nearby, though.
If you do not, check into mother’s morning out programs or with local mom groups. Some of them might have play date programs. Whatever you decide to do, you should make sure that you let your spouse and support system know when you need more support.
Overextension :
With so many activities available for children, we can over schedule them. A child who plays a different sport every day of the week and works hard in school may be overextended. These children may love soccer, baseball, and piano, but if they have no time to be children, they will become overstressed.
An overstressed child has meltdowns. When your child is in the midst of a meltdown, there is not much you can do to stop it, and it can be draining for you both. Sometimes the answer is in doing less.
Rotate sports and play one each season. Take a break from piano now and then, or simply skip a practice or lesson. Yes, piano teachers and baseball coaches across the world are ready to strangle me, but they will be okay. Sometimes a skipped practice for some ice cream or fast food is what the whole family needs. Kids need to see you value breaks and time with them.
Cleaning :
Another area that moms often complain about is that they never feel the house is clean. This is probably the hardest part of parenting. It seems that I tell my kids more than not that they need to clean their space.
My daughter is the smallest in the house and takes up the most room. There is no quick fix. Some children are messier than others and take more time to teach. One thing that helps some is organization.
For some children, that means hyper-organization. Not only does everything need space, but that space must also be labeled. For other children, a simple toy box is fine. Learn your children and work with their personal style to try to help them become more organized. The more their organizational style matches their own style, the more likely they will be to keep up with it.
Final thoughts
There are no simple answers for moms. In this short article, we have only explored a few of the challenges that our stay-at-home friends experience. We hope, though, that these few things have helped you feel a little less alone and more able to cope with challenges. One of the best quotes I have heard lately comes from Theodore Roosevelt—“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Stop worrying about the next mom, kid, or house. Enjoy life. Dishes will wait, and floors can be swept later, but your kids and mental health need attention now. Enjoy it while you can.
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